Asking For Help

I need your help. Man, do I hate asking. 
 
But here I go: Will you follow me on Twitter? 
 
I’m working to build a community there, sharing tips and inspiration for how to write a great brand story. I’m writing a book on the topic, and having a community is important to potential publishers.

Twitter turns out to also be fun, encouraging, and educational. I’m impressed by the volume of useful advice people spend their energy sharing on Twitter and the camaraderie they offer. The learnings and connections I’m finding there will improve the work I do as a strategist and as a writer. 

So here's the ask.

• Pretty please, follow me on Twitter. For a gold star, ask 2 friends to do the same. 

• Help me reach my goal of 1000 followers this month and 4000 by the end of October!

• Hitting follow only takes a second. 

And now that that's over, I want to examine why I found doing it so objectionable. Why is asking for help so hard?
 
The Beautiful Mess

Asking for help requires showing vulnerability. Out of fear, many of us decide against it. When we see ourselves as vulnerable, it feels negative. However, when we see others as vulnerable, we think about it more positively. Your sweetheart tells you they love you for the first time. A child asks you to tend to a boo-boo. You feel joy, not scorn. In psychology circles, this disconnect in the way we view vulnerability is called the beautiful mess effect. 
 
The truth is, people love to help. Because most people are kind, and because helping makes us feel good. Here in New York City, for example, we love it when someone asks us which trains to take on the subway. You get to have a positive impact on someone's day. And you get to feel competent, sharing your insider's knowledge.

A Few Quick Tips

I tried to reverse engineer the positive experiences I've had when people have asked for my help. Based on that, here's my take on how to make it easy and pleasant for people to help you.

1. When you ask for help, be nice. 
2. Be sure the ask is clear.
3. Explain why you’re asking.
4. Provide a deadline.
5. Make it quick to execute.

That's what I've tried to do here.

We’re Better Together

When you ask for or offer help, a magical thing happens. You realize you are not alone. You discover that there is a whole tribe supporting you. They are your sustenance, your test lab, your cheerleading squad, and your inspiration. They will help you, and you will help them. That's a good thing, because things get done better together. 

Thank you for your help! As much as I hate asking for it, I deeply value your support. And, please, let me know how I can help you in return.